Am I to blame?

Enveloped in grief I am.
An awful truth I have learnt.
An innocent child I was born.
But the stars said I was a murderer.
I brought with me the death of the older one.
Was I an ill omen, an evil one, an ogbanje?

I am guilty of a crime I did not commit.
I did nothing. Yet it is my fault.

I brought it with my birth.
I write this for myself.
Cause noone else would understand.

Thank God I do not believe in the signs of the stars and prophecies of the zodiac !

And yet I ask myself......
Am I to blame?

Get off that ass!

Time is slipping, pressure is mounting, stakes are on the upward trend, the fever is building, tension, apprehension and fear have surrounded me. And yet I ain't doing nothing.

What does it take for man (In this case woman) to get off his (her) ass and get cracking, get working and achieving.
Motivation I have. Knowledge about the benefits and the pay offs, I have that too. Calibre, well I'm quite certain that there is enough evidence of the presence, although maybe slight of that too.

I tried that scaring myself into work deal. Failed!
The carrot before the bunny trick. Nope. Nothing.
Everyone's doing it. Your the only one who isn't!!!!!
Dam I'm thick.

Well I'm at my wits end. At a loss for words, breath, anger, peak of frustration, motivation, threat.
And yet, here I am just where I started.

Time is slipping.......... I'm doomed!

Journey

Just like a leaf that is lifted up by the wind and taken to new, unfamiliar, unfathomed places am I. For the leaf the world was the tree and the ground below and the sky above. But now it learns there's more. A lot more.
In the same way for me my world was the sweet little city I lived in. But now after having lived away I know otherwise.
People have come into my life. I have made friends, found a mentor, a teacher, a confidante, an advisor, an entertainer, a support system, a source of strength, a best friend, actually a few best friends. I have made discoveries about myself.

But the time has come for the wind to come lift me up and take me to a new world.
I am torn between my attachments and the adventure that awaits. I find it hard to let go.

But I do know that I will take them with me wherever life takes me. They will always remain close to me. As they are now a part of me!