No plan. No method. No organisation. Just going with the flow. Accepting whatever was handed out. Not being happy with it. Complaining about it. But doing nothing.
Like babies who have just done the big job. It's uncomfortable. It smells. They definitely don't like it. (hence, the crying) But they just lay there. Until we, as adults or in this case, more specifically as parents, come to their rescue.
Wipe them clean. Powder that cute little hindside. Put on some fresh (possibly fragrant) diapers. And then watch them smile. Picture perfect.
Time passes.
And then nobody comes along to clean your shit.
Even if you are ready with that million dollar smile.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Late night chat
Hearing yourself speak from the other end.
Listening to someone else making the same mistakes you made.
Someone else knowingly, willingly experiencing the pain. Embracing it. Enjoying it. In this masochistic way. Prolonging the healing. The recovery. Just revelling in the misery. Wallowing in self pity.
Enjoying being the victim. The martyr. The good guy. The human being. The good human being. The well meaning good human being. The lost well meaning good human being.
And it occurs to you.
We enjoy the mistakes. We need some pain. We need some heartbreak. We need some misfortune. We need some bad runs. We need some rain. We need some heartache. We need some challenge. We need some failures. We need some bad dates. Some bad relationships. We need some lousy friends. We need some awful teachers. We need them.
To learn. To grow. To feel. And most of all, to appreciate the good ones.
And no amount of sound advice can stop us from falling. From failing.
And eventually rising. Eventually.
Dearest friend,
Thank you for showing me light.
Listening to someone else making the same mistakes you made.
Someone else knowingly, willingly experiencing the pain. Embracing it. Enjoying it. In this masochistic way. Prolonging the healing. The recovery. Just revelling in the misery. Wallowing in self pity.
Enjoying being the victim. The martyr. The good guy. The human being. The good human being. The well meaning good human being. The lost well meaning good human being.
And it occurs to you.
We enjoy the mistakes. We need some pain. We need some heartbreak. We need some misfortune. We need some bad runs. We need some rain. We need some heartache. We need some challenge. We need some failures. We need some bad dates. Some bad relationships. We need some lousy friends. We need some awful teachers. We need them.
To learn. To grow. To feel. And most of all, to appreciate the good ones.
And no amount of sound advice can stop us from falling. From failing.
And eventually rising. Eventually.
Dearest friend,
Thank you for showing me light.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
08 November 2007
I could sense the fear, the anxiety, the past sleepless nights, the foodless days, the restlessness, the hopelessness, the doubts, the incapacitation, the turmoil, the negativity all come together and just disappear while I just sat there in anticipation, with a quiet nervousness, my thoughts were fidgety but my body looked calm, my heart was racing but my face masked the fear. I wanted to get through it quickly. And I wanted to be good so badly. (I have always wondered why we say we want something so badly. Don't we mean we want it very goodly. Ok now I am just rambling)Anyway!
Then I skimmed through the words. They looked a little hazy then grew into focus like a camera lens sizing up its subject, panning into the eyes and then the face and its features. I leaned forward to show I am interested and to emphasise my presence. One deep breath.
I read with all I had. And three times after that.
She said she loved it. She said I am a natural. She said I had camera presence. She said it was fantastic. She said it was really really good.
I smiled. Blushed. Clapped. Giggled. Lapped the praises up. Stored it into my tiny brain. I was a little child again. Soaking in the genuine compliments and praise and encouragement.
This will be my refuge during the difficult days that lie ahead. This will be my happy bubble. The day I was saved right back.
She said I need to pause some more. She said I should slow down a little. I nodded in agreement.
Words were beyond me for many many moments after.
My first piece to camera.
I want to be an anchor woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I skimmed through the words. They looked a little hazy then grew into focus like a camera lens sizing up its subject, panning into the eyes and then the face and its features. I leaned forward to show I am interested and to emphasise my presence. One deep breath.
I read with all I had. And three times after that.
She said she loved it. She said I am a natural. She said I had camera presence. She said it was fantastic. She said it was really really good.
I smiled. Blushed. Clapped. Giggled. Lapped the praises up. Stored it into my tiny brain. I was a little child again. Soaking in the genuine compliments and praise and encouragement.
This will be my refuge during the difficult days that lie ahead. This will be my happy bubble. The day I was saved right back.
She said I need to pause some more. She said I should slow down a little. I nodded in agreement.
Words were beyond me for many many moments after.
My first piece to camera.
I want to be an anchor woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Filling the Corfe
This was the first assignment that I did on my course. The brief was to a write news report on the history of a building or a place on my patch (neighbourhood area). I live in a University hall of residence called Corfe house. And I wrote about Corfe castle which is totally not on my patch but quite a distance away. But I used the same name connection and wrote my story. My teacher said it was a bit contrived but he smiled and seemed pleased. I think he quite liked my idea. He said he liked the report otherwise. YAY!!!
Well what can I say, full points to cheekiness and forced connections. :)
VEENA ZACHARIAS
Filling the Corfe
An investigation into the newly built halls of residence in Poole led to the discovery of the building being named after Corfe Castle. Corfe Castle is located in a gap in the Purbeck hills between Wareham and Swanage and has been a witness to a 1000 years of British History.
Corfe Castle has survived the English Civil War, functioned as a military garrison, a royal residence and a family home. It derives its name from a Saxon word for gap.
Rachel, 17, said that Corfe Castle was mainly used for military defence, serving as a vantage point to watch the sea and warn the military, well in time, of the approaching invaders.
Corfe was a royal castle in William the Conqueror’s time but it was Henry I who built ‘The Keep’ which served as the last line of defence and was the ceremonial centre of the castle. King John built ‘The Gloriette’ which were a range of residential buildings and included King John’s Hall and Presence Chamber with a three storeyed porch.
In 1572, Queen Elizabeth sold the estate to Sir Christopher Hatton and in 1635 it passed to the Lord Chief Justice, Sir John Bankes. The Parliamentarian engineers were ordered to destroy it in 1646, after the Royalist garrison had surrendered following a lengthy seige. Ownership remained with the Bankes family until 1982. It was then bequeathed to the National Trust.
Andrew Preston, a resident of Dorchester, said that Enid Blyton, the well known children’s author had spent time in the area and that some of the castles in her adventure stories were based on Corfe Castle.
Currently, the National Trust has undertaken a major conservation programme to restore the Corfe Castle and make it safe for public access as the masonry of the Castle had begun to crumble due to the recent warm, wet winters.
The National Trust is planning to launch a campaign to raise the £5,00,000 needed to fund the restoration.
ENDS
Well what can I say, full points to cheekiness and forced connections. :)
VEENA ZACHARIAS
Filling the Corfe
An investigation into the newly built halls of residence in Poole led to the discovery of the building being named after Corfe Castle. Corfe Castle is located in a gap in the Purbeck hills between Wareham and Swanage and has been a witness to a 1000 years of British History.
Corfe Castle has survived the English Civil War, functioned as a military garrison, a royal residence and a family home. It derives its name from a Saxon word for gap.
Rachel, 17, said that Corfe Castle was mainly used for military defence, serving as a vantage point to watch the sea and warn the military, well in time, of the approaching invaders.
Corfe was a royal castle in William the Conqueror’s time but it was Henry I who built ‘The Keep’ which served as the last line of defence and was the ceremonial centre of the castle. King John built ‘The Gloriette’ which were a range of residential buildings and included King John’s Hall and Presence Chamber with a three storeyed porch.
In 1572, Queen Elizabeth sold the estate to Sir Christopher Hatton and in 1635 it passed to the Lord Chief Justice, Sir John Bankes. The Parliamentarian engineers were ordered to destroy it in 1646, after the Royalist garrison had surrendered following a lengthy seige. Ownership remained with the Bankes family until 1982. It was then bequeathed to the National Trust.
Andrew Preston, a resident of Dorchester, said that Enid Blyton, the well known children’s author had spent time in the area and that some of the castles in her adventure stories were based on Corfe Castle.
Currently, the National Trust has undertaken a major conservation programme to restore the Corfe Castle and make it safe for public access as the masonry of the Castle had begun to crumble due to the recent warm, wet winters.
The National Trust is planning to launch a campaign to raise the £5,00,000 needed to fund the restoration.
ENDS
Monday, November 05, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Big girls don't cry
I'd lovely to say that Fergie has literally stolen my thoughts. But I just couldn't have said it so well.
I Hope you like it as much as I do.
I Hope you like it as much as I do.
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da
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