Trial

Have you ever hurt anyone?:
Guilty. Lost count and most times didn't even realise I had.

Have you ever let down your parents?:
Guilty as ever. I am sure my mom remembers the score. Thats only of the stuff they have found out.

Broken someone's heart?:
Guilty. (This is not going well at all)

Lived a life of selfishness and blatant disregard to others as long as you are getting your way?: Guilty.

Been a true friend:
Honestly. Never at the expense of myself or my convenience or happiness.

Preached but not practised:
Guilty. I am a specialist at that.

Sought consolation and reassurance every time things start to unravel or are not going exactly how you want them to:
Guilty. Every single time. Have not missed even one opportunity to do so.

All the evidence and witness merely corroborates what has been long established as a truth that you have lead a life devoted to self gratification and have been a menace to most people in general. You have been warned kindly and strictly many times over before but you have chosen to ignore the same.
So we are forced to declare that you shall live a life of solitary confinement, as we have judged that to live with yourself would be the most fitting and the most torturous punishment for you.

But we would also like to add that you will be under the observation of the Almighty and the punishment shall be reduced or even pardoned if your behaviour stands testimony to a postive reformation in you.

We wish you good luck.