'English' deconstructed

I've been in the UK for a little over a month now and I've been soaking in the similarities and differences, understanding and appreciating my own culture and theirs. But this is on a lighter note. My tribute to a beautiful country. Two beautiful countries. The one I come from and the one I have come to.

You alright? = How's it going?/ Sup?/Hello - It doesn't really require a response. If you mistake it for an actual question and decide to answer it in your usual verbose way, you'd be the only one left standing there.

That's a good shout = It's a brilliant idea

Wanker/ Tosser = person who masturbates (they have a tremendous vocabulary for the same thing and it keeps coming up in conversations)

I'm rubbish at it = No talent for it (I really love the way they say it so innocently and it's just such sweet and polite English)

To waffle= Beating around the bush. I shall explain with an example. Say you need to write a 3500 word essay and you really have only 200 words to say it all. Then you add scores of meaningless, useless words, saying the same thing over and over in different ways and you somehow reach the 3500 word limit. And Bingo! You have 'waffled'!!!

'Dodgy'= Unreliable/ unsafe. My news story is a bit dodgy. What they mean is that the subject in reference is not of very good standard, is poor in quality. (They take political correctness very very seriously out here)

Blimey!!!! = Bloody hell (an interjection) It sounds so much better than the typical 'F**k'

And how could I ever leave out....

Cheers = Thanks. The prominent drinking culture here has made this word drift out of pubs and bars into everyday conversation I suppose.

I can't seem to remember all the words or phrases they use. They are all ever so sweet. I shall keep adding to this list. It's so much fun.

I feel like this child in a strange, foreign but magnificent world.

Am I Alice? And this my Wonderland?

I am glad I am here.